I am that Crow!

It was a simple day's event. I was headed back from Trader Joe's. I wasn't really in a hurry, but I think I was driving like I was. I wasn't going that fast but I thought it would be fast enough to blow the trash out of the middle of the road, which is what I was trying to do. That is until I realized that the trash was jumping and actually wasn't trash at all. It was a crow! Now, something you should know about me, I don't like crows very much. They are loud, obnoxious, scroungers, imitators of birds of prey sometimes when flying and the most annoying thing to me about these birds, they seem like they are always mocking. Mocking other birds, people and whatever seems to be around. So, as I approached the bird I was trying to scare the bird to fly away and fear me in my huge car (at least compared to the bird. But when I approached the bird it didn't fly away. I thought, "How brazen! This bird isn't even scared of the car! What a jerk!!" (Yes this is what I think about crows, they are jerks!) This bird not only didn't fly away but barely moved out of the way for me. As I looked closer I saw something was not exactly right. I looked closer and this crow was actually missing some feathers as well as had some feathers that weren't quite full with pieces missing. It looked like a younger bird too. That was it, I couldn't help it. I turned the emergency lights and stopped the car right there in the middle of the street. I got out and tried again to scare the bird into flying away...and failed. The bird wanted to walk underneath my car but I was able to block him at the last moment. So I changed tactics, I would try to get the bird out of the street without touching it, lest it bite me or get killed by another car. Somehow I was able to successfully herd the bird to the side of the road safely. There was a part of me that thought I should have let the bird die there in the middle of the road...but then I had a thought...I am that crow!! I am trying to not get run over in the middle of the road, I run away from the one who tries to help me live, and I can only effectively motivated by fear into a place of relative safety to recover and "lick my wounds". I left feeling less like a jerk and more like a wrecked animal in need of some recovery from whatever life happened to throw at it.

 

Letter to Memories

I decided to write a letter as a song using songs from my childhood. Maybe you'll recognize some of the names of the songs. I might make this into a song, we'll see. 

Sitting down to write a note to you my friend.
An Invitation to Understandin'
Still wishing you were still here, everyday
No matter the actions or choices, voices still replay...

I hear Mr. Milsap singing about the "Smoky Mountain Rain",
his lost love, in the beauty there is still pain
Not sure why Gatlinburg reminded me of a cereal Captain
It was just a time, a story I'd get trapped in

I miss the way "Friends are Friends Forever"
and "Emily", "The Kentucky Rose" used to
search for their "Place in this World".
and maybe a life outside this "Rocket Town"

"Petra Means Rock", it's true
but "This Means War" for the "Available" few
"To Hell With the Devil" is all I'm sayin'
"Honestly", this is all they were playin'

In Acapella they "Laid their Weapons Down"
and there was "Amazing Grace" all around
Their voices rang out clearly
knowing though, it was "My Responsibility"

Now it's nothing but a "Rainy Season"
"Whistlin' in the Dark" as to the reason
"Wonder if They'd Love Him" in your town today
Truth is that "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday"

It's been a long time since I dreamed...

I was jumping. I jumped as high as the inside of the school's gymnasium. I grabbed a hold of the middle I-beam. As impressed as the few friends watching were, the landing was always the toughest. it always hurt the knees, no matter how I tried to shield them. Then there were the other times of jumping over the trees in the forest near Yosemite, just didn't feel like walking around any more. My favorites though were the times where I could just soar or swim the skies. It was such a freedom up in the clouds as they passed by as if no time to stop for a greeting.

The worst were the ones about the sea or water, probably rooted in the one about Little Fredrickson's boy falling into the pool presumably because of something I had done, after all, I had signed my name in the freeze frame. The most frightening was the wave of infinite circles all crashing in the middle of where I was on my boogie board. The waves, the dark- all descending onto the place where I was.

These are the major themes of the two stories- the ones about the ability of ascending and those about descending. Either way, those have been the majority of the substances of my dreams in years past. These days, however, sleep is hard to come by either through sheer will-power to "get through" a paper or to just watch that show that I haven't seen because I haven't had so much time because of said homework. One would actually have to sleep for them to show themselves. It's been a long time since I dreamed...of either.

Day #25 "Never Gettin' Tired of You"

This is day #25 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 25 Song That You Could Listen to All Day without Getting Tired of:

The song that I could listen to all day and never get tired of is "A New Hope" by Five Iron Frenzy
This song is a good reminder of where hope comes from and who provides it.

Amy's going back to school today
Elation, jubilation
Streams from her face
Did the halls smell
Of gunpowder still
What made the human mind
Dark enough to kill

A new hope
Where is your freedom
A new hope
Cast off your burdens

A darker world lies behind this one
Cryptic, it hides beneath perception
We all saw it on that day
Stunned, we stood stuttering
What did the news say

A new hope
Where is your freedom
A new hope
Cast off your burdens
A new hope
Where is your freedom
A new hope
Here is your freedom

Peace
Fills us
By hope we steer
Our dark hearts salvaged
We live without fear

Day #24 "Dancing With Friends"

This is day #24 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 24 Song That You Have Danced to with Your Best Friend:

The song that I've danced to with my best friend is "Blue Comb" by Five Iron Frenzy. I really wish I could upload the VHS of us dancing around the Christmas Tree. It was a typical night where we were asked to "watch" the Christmas Tree Lot at the church to make sure people weren't stealing trees at night. Our solution was staying up the entire night making ridiculous movies about absolutely nothing at all! So much fun! At one point we danced around a Christmas tree like it was a bon-fire of a Native American campground. As we did so we started singing Blue Comb, because it had come out earlier that year, maybe a month or two. But I can't upload that video. Here's Five Iron Live performing Blue Comb...

Day #23 "I Cant Stand It!"

This is day #23 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 23 Song That You Can't Stand to Listen to:

The song the I cannot stand to listen to is "Sail Away" by Enya. I can not stand that sound. I never really liked it when it was on the radio and everyone loved it. I didn't like it when I found out that the words were actually in English and not in a foreign language. And I really didn't like it when I had to do a dance routine to it! So, I still have bad feelings toward this song. It sounds like a haunting dream and not the good kind, So, yeah that's my song I can't stand.

Day #22 (12/02/14) "Song Someone Has Sung to You"

This is day #22 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 22 Song That Someone Has Sung to You:

As a general rule people don't usually sing to me. Even my kids will sing a song, but not to me but while I happen to be in the room. So really the only song I can remember anyone singing to me would be Jesus Loves Me which is a traditional song. I'm not sure who wrote this one but it has been around for sometime. While it's simple in construct, it's theology is pretty sound. "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so..."

Day #21 Favorite Song

This is day #21 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 21 Your Favorite Song :

This is by far the hardest question to answer! I have a handful of songs I could Lauren to all day! I guess if I have to nail down just one it would have to be, On and On by P.F.R. The words below are written to Our Father. This song always brings comfort and hope to my soul. It reminds me this isn't my journey alone and that it's God who continues to send us "farther on and further up" asC.S. Lewis put it.  Here are the lyrics:

Father of love, look upon me now
I've come so far, only You know how
You've changed my life, made me whole
All I am now, to You I owe it all

You are reality, You alone are life
You take a heart so dull and make it shine so bright
To burn for You and all You are
A Light in the night, a guiding star You are

Here are all my burdens, I lift them up to You
Your words, they ease my mind
Your gentleness shines through,
Giving us hope when hope is all gone
Never retreating, sending us on and on

Songwriters

Hanson Joel David

Published By

SPARROW SONG;UNIVERSAL 

Day #20 The Last song alphabetically in my mp3 player...AKA phone

This is day #20 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 20 (11/27/14): The Last song alphabetically in my mp3 player...AKA phone:

The song that has the very last spot alphabetically is "Zen & the Art of Xenophobia" by Five Iron Frenzy:



This is a very fun video and one of my favorite bands. The best "un-dead" bands from Denver, CO!

"Keep on rockin for the kids!"

Day #19 "First song alphabetically in my mp3 player...AKA phone"

This is day #19 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 19 (11/26/14): First song alphabetically in my mp3 player...AKA phone:

The song that has the primary spot alphabetically is "And the Rest Will Follow" by Project 86:



Most of these guys went to my church that I grew up and eventually worked at. Two of the members were in a band I was in also. You won't be seeing that video on You Tube however. These are good guys with good music!

Project86 the Website

Day #18 "Rarely Listened to Song You Love"

This is day #18 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 18 (11/24/14): Song That Love but Rarely Listen to:

The song that I love but rarely listen to would be this song by PFR called "Here in the Middle". I rarely listen to it because I don't have it anymore on my computer or phone. The CD is probably long gone. I really love the song. The the part of the chorus that goes "I make it so hard when it could be so simple..." Really hits home and makes me think of every time I over-think and over complicate things. "Help me love me for some better reason, learn to take myself in all of my seasons" also resonates incredibly. Took a lot of counseling to get to that point and more to keep me there, but the point is to be able to be able to "put up" with myself or how could I expect others to. I really is a great song,that I would link to but it's not available. Here are the lyrics though:

"In The Middle" Lyrics
by PFR | from the album The Bookhouse Recordings

For so long I had the same dream,
I'm running like a man possessed: breathless and scared to death,
Then, last night, I swear I heard a voice whisper in the dark,
And it spoke right into my heart, saying...
Don't you know that you're one of the sweetest songs I've ever sung?

Just try to find a little peace in the middle,
You make it hard when it could be so simple,
Love yourself for some better reasons, and learn to take yourself with all of your seasons.

Oh, oh.

There's hope in the mystery, 
In loving all I'm not, surrendered to the thought,
I'll find comfort in my own skin, 
Accepted as I am: broken and blessed man,
Tell me again that I'm one of the sweetest songs you've ever sung.

Help me to find a little peace in the middle,
I make it so hard when it could be so simple,
Help me love me for some better reasons,
Learn to take myself with all of my seasons.

Help me to find a little peace in the middle,
I make it so hard when it could be so simple,
Help me love myself for all the right reasons, and learn to take myself with all of my seasons,
Everybody needs some peace in the middle, 'cause life gets hard when we could all use a little,
Learn to love ourselves for all the right reasons, and learn to take this life in all of it's seasons.

In the middle,
In the middle,
I'm here in the middle,
In the middle

Day #17 "Dancing Song"

This is day #17 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 17 (11/23/14): Song That Makes You Want to Dance:

The song that makes me want to dance is "Shooting Star" by Owl City:



This song is in the closing credits of "Escape From Planet Earth" and my kids always ask, "Do want to have a dance party?!" The answer is always "YES!" It's a fun song.

Day #16 "Song That Has Made You Cry"

This is day #16 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 16 (11/21/14): Song That Has Made You Cry:

The song that seriously make me cry every time I hear it, even before his daughter died, is "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman:



Damn you Steven Curtis Chapman for giving my tear ducts a cleanse every single time!! It really is a good song. I just can't listen to it in any public setting!

Day #15 "Sing A-long" 15/25 (yes, I skipped yesterday-no one is keeping track anyway)

This is day #15 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 15 (11/20/14): Song That You Love Singing to:

                             I love singing along to a lot of songs! It's really tough to narrow it down to just one but for the sake of sanity, mine and yours, I will only pick one.

The song that that I love singing along to is "A New Hope"(LIVE) by Five Iron Frenzy:



I love singing along to the end of this song! So fun shouting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs while driving. My kids sometime ask me to stop...but still a great song to sing along to.

Day #14 "Wife Song"

This is day #14 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 14 (11/18/14): Song That Reminds You of Your Wife...

                             The song that reminds me of my wife would have to be "God Gave Me You" by David Barnes but performed by Blake Shelton:

Day #13 "Former Friend"

This is day #13 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 13 (11/17/14): Song That Reminds You of a Former Friend

                             The song that reminds me of a former friend would have to be Pool Party
Aquabats:

Day #12 "The Last Song I Heard"

This is day #12 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 12 (11/16/14): Last Song I Heard

                             The last song I just heard was the Leverage Theme Song because I'm watching the show. Here it is:

"Soundtrack" Day #11/25

This is day #11 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 11 (11/15/14): Song from My Favorite Movie Soundtrack

                             I like so many movies soundtracks, so to pick one as my favorite is a little crazy. I'm not sure what I would consider my favorite movie either because I think I have so many there as well. So, I'll just give my top three movie soundtracks in that I could listen to them all day and in no order:

Young Guns Two Sound Track:





The Last Of the Mohicans:



Sister Act Two:



And Harry Potter as a runner up:

Day #10 Song from my Favorite Band(s)

This is day #10 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 10 (11/14/14): Song from My Favorite Band(s)

                             I have 3 favorite bands, FIF (Five Iron Frenzy), All Together Separate and PFR (Pray for Rain. The only thing they have in common is the fact that they all have three words for their name. Here are 3 songs from my favorite bands:

Dandelions byFive Iron Frenzy



Camouflage Soul by All Together Separate



We Can Work it Out (Beatles Cover) by PFR(and Phil Keaggy)

Day #9 "Hope!" 9/25 song, day challenge

This is day #9 of the 25 day, 25 song challenge...

• Day 9 (11/13/14): Song That Makes You Hopeful

                             The songs that always makes me hopeful are these two:

Everything by LifeHouse- It's mostly because of this skit/drama that this song makes me hopeful for redemption and to fight against the darkness. The imagery is just so viscerally powerful and it gets me everytime...



and


Kingdom in Reverse (AKA: The Shepherd is the Lamb) by O.C. Supertones- One of the most honest worship songs out there. Almost every time it brings me to tears know that God's love took the place and has this,
"...unshakable love for the unloved and the unlovely, the weak, the abased, the unworthy, the unwarranted, the rebels, [the outcasts], and the sinners..... you and me"
      -O.C. Supertones The shepherd is the Lamb