Blogtober #4 Pause

 Yesterday I talked about taking intentional time to listen. Today I am going to write about something similar, but subtly different. Taking a pause, a breath, an unfolding, letting hair down, a break, a slow down to a stop. It's hard to listen when rushing, so one must pause in order to listen better. So, today's focus for me is the pause, so much so that I'm writing this yesterday to have more of a pause today! My hope is also for those who might be reading this, though I know the number is small- microscopic, even-
may have a pause today or, at the very least, soon!  

Blogtober #3 Listening

 

There was a time when I remember being able to sit and listen. Listen to the wind, to the birds, to the silence, to myself, and to God. As I've aged, it's been more difficult to do intentionally because I've had to make the time. When I was younger, I just had time, time to myself with nothing to do but listen- a great training ground. These days, I have to set the time aside to listen. Now, I'm not talking about listening to music or to others who are talking, though I'm sure I could use some help there at times, but the listening to things outside of me. This week I gave a challenge to myself and to my 16-year-old son to listen to see what God is trying to tell us this week. There might be a general sense as to what God is saying to each of us, but I wanted to focus on what is He trying to say to us as individuals, his sons, his brothers and how that might change us. Since this is the last day of the week, I haven't asked my son what he's heard, but I'm hearing God calling me back to deeper discussions with Himself and with others, to be a better listener to The Holy Spirit's leading. It's not something new, it's just something that I'm being reminded of in very real ways: that I need to be more intentional about listening more often, daily even.

Blogtober #2 Podcast...?

 So, no theme developed yet... today's ramble is a thought about a possible Podcast. I enjoyed producing, editing and creating visual/audio elements for the podcast, where I was in the background. No one except the creator and maybe some other staff members knew I was a part of it, maybe it was a good thing. In any case, I learned a lot and have always thought it would be fun to host my own, despite minimal interest from others in anything I create. The idea is that it would be fun for me and if anyone actually likes it, awesome, if not, no loss, because I found it fun! The idea would be focused around a nagging thought or a funny saying that I or others just can't let go of or have found amusing. It's not a show that answers questions but asks them in order to have better questions and deeper understandings of the life all around us. The cool part is that while the plane lands, it doesn't always have to arrive at a predetermined location. It's more of a let's see where this idea goes as I or we think outloud. I'm still not sure if I'm going to do this but the idea sounds fun enough to try it out. 

Thanks for reading!

BLOGTOBER #1 Dreamscape

 Today is the first day of Blogtober, where the challenge is to write a blog every day of October. Originally, I was thinking of organizing the writing around a theme, and I might do that; today I'm starting with the weird and busy dreams I had last night.

The dream starts with me in an old car waiting at a stoplight in what looked like a run-down part of Las Vegas. At some point, I found a group of friends that I picked up and then dropped them off where they were going, but I realized they weren't inviting me, though they appreciated the ride. Though once dropped off I found what looked like Community's space RV so I took a tour. At one point the entry was so small I had to crawl through but the person in front of me stopped to talk to someone past where it opened up to stand again, while I was in this crawl space. It seemed to take forever and I was getting hot so I opened a small window and realized I didn't have to wait. So I crawled back the way I came.

 Next thing I knew I was riding my bike out of town, and I wound up in what looked like a very expensive place to live with a cyber-park. The best way I could describe it was this park with man-made lakes, moving walkways, LED Tron-like lights throughout. The whole park was underground, like a converted parking garage, though there were parts of the roof  were windows and you could see the natural sky, where you could see there was a train depot, and it seems this was the rich community's way to beautify and not see the train depot. The sidewalk led straight into the underground park and you couldn't see the train depot unless you went to one of the windows of the ceiling. Once I was there, I saw a woman who was giving a tour and answering questions. I couldn't tell if she was real or a robot. I was trying to ask her about the place and what it was when another family showed up and she started her spiel all over again. I reasoned she must be a robot and continued on without the tour. I saw a group of people I knew and they were walking out so I joined them. I hopped off my bike and walked with them for a few yards when they encountered some people I knew from youth group. I waved at them in hello and goodbye as we were leaving and they seemed not to really know who I was. Once outside the group and I were going to part ways but then we got invited into a bar that was hosting a comedian. So, the 5 of us got a table, because they asked if I wanted to hang out with them to watch the comedian. Shortly after sitting down together a few of them found different seats with other people knew and within a few minutes everyone had left the table but me. The comedian was too hard to hear and I didn't feel like sticking around so I got back on my bike and left. Then I awoke.

I am that Crow!

It was a simple day's event. I was headed back from Trader Joe's. I wasn't really in a hurry, but I think I was driving like I was. I wasn't going that fast but I thought it would be fast enough to blow the trash out of the middle of the road, which is what I was trying to do. That is until I realized that the trash was jumping and actually wasn't trash at all. It was a crow! Now, something you should know about me, I don't like crows very much. They are loud, obnoxious, scroungers, imitators of birds of prey sometimes when flying and the most annoying thing to me about these birds, they seem like they are always mocking. Mocking other birds, people and whatever seems to be around. So, as I approached the bird I was trying to scare the bird to fly away and fear me in my huge car (at least compared to the bird. But when I approached the bird it didn't fly away. I thought, "How brazen! This bird isn't even scared of the car! What a jerk!!" (Yes this is what I think about crows, they are jerks!) This bird not only didn't fly away but barely moved out of the way for me. As I looked closer I saw something was not exactly right. I looked closer and this crow was actually missing some feathers as well as had some feathers that weren't quite full with pieces missing. It looked like a younger bird too. That was it, I couldn't help it. I turned the emergency lights and stopped the car right there in the middle of the street. I got out and tried again to scare the bird into flying away...and failed. The bird wanted to walk underneath my car but I was able to block him at the last moment. So I changed tactics, I would try to get the bird out of the street without touching it, lest it bite me or get killed by another car. Somehow I was able to successfully herd the bird to the side of the road safely. There was a part of me that thought I should have let the bird die there in the middle of the road...but then I had a thought...I am that crow!! I am trying to not get run over in the middle of the road, I run away from the one who tries to help me live, and I can only effectively motivated by fear into a place of relative safety to recover and "lick my wounds". I left feeling less like a jerk and more like a wrecked animal in need of some recovery from whatever life happened to throw at it.

 

Letter to Memories

I decided to write a letter as a song using songs from my childhood. Maybe you'll recognize some of the names of the songs. I might make this into a song, we'll see. 

Sitting down to write a note to you my friend.
An Invitation to Understandin'
Still wishing you were still here, everyday
No matter the actions or choices, voices still replay...

I hear Mr. Milsap singing about the "Smoky Mountain Rain",
his lost love, in the beauty there is still pain
Not sure why Gatlinburg reminded me of a cereal Captain
It was just a time, a story I'd get trapped in

I miss the way "Friends are Friends Forever"
and "Emily", "The Kentucky Rose" used to
search for their "Place in this World".
and maybe a life outside this "Rocket Town"

"Petra Means Rock", it's true
but "This Means War" for the "Available" few
"To Hell With the Devil" is all I'm sayin'
"Honestly", this is all they were playin'

In Acapella they "Laid their Weapons Down"
and there was "Amazing Grace" all around
Their voices rang out clearly
knowing though, it was "My Responsibility"

Now it's nothing but a "Rainy Season"
"Whistlin' in the Dark" as to the reason
"Wonder if They'd Love Him" in your town today
Truth is that "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday"

It's been a long time since I dreamed...

I was jumping. I jumped as high as the inside of the school's gymnasium. I grabbed a hold of the middle I-beam. As impressed as the few friends watching were, the landing was always the toughest. it always hurt the knees, no matter how I tried to shield them. Then there were the other times of jumping over the trees in the forest near Yosemite, just didn't feel like walking around any more. My favorites though were the times where I could just soar or swim the skies. It was such a freedom up in the clouds as they passed by as if no time to stop for a greeting.

The worst were the ones about the sea or water, probably rooted in the one about Little Fredrickson's boy falling into the pool presumably because of something I had done, after all, I had signed my name in the freeze frame. The most frightening was the wave of infinite circles all crashing in the middle of where I was on my boogie board. The waves, the dark- all descending onto the place where I was.

These are the major themes of the two stories- the ones about the ability of ascending and those about descending. Either way, those have been the majority of the substances of my dreams in years past. These days, however, sleep is hard to come by either through sheer will-power to "get through" a paper or to just watch that show that I haven't seen because I haven't had so much time because of said homework. One would actually have to sleep for them to show themselves. It's been a long time since I dreamed...of either.