Blogtober #28 29 Years

 Today is the 29th anniversary of my older brother's death from the rare heart and lung disease that also took my younger brother and father. The same disease that my sister and I have. It's weird to think that my brother has been with the LORD longer than he was here on earth. He lived to be 24 years old, so 4 years beyond how long he lived. I will soon be over twice his age when he passed away. I miss my brother, as I'm sure his wife and daughter do as well! But just like with my dad, I missed things when he was alive, too. When I went to a school in Colorado, I didn't know that when I said goodbye to my brother and gave him a hug, it would be the last hug I'd give him this side of eternity. When he told me he was sick over the phone and wasn't sure about the outcome, I didn't really honor his fear in that moment, not that it matters 29 years later, but in that moment I could have been there for him better! I also think of my own mortality and what, if anything, I leave behind, besides my wife and child, of course (and this blog haha). When my youngest brother died in '83 at the age of 4, I think my whole family started to think this way. That there are things we do every day that matter and there are things that don't, sometimes it has been difficult to tell which is which. I have had difficulties being a good friend through the years because it all this. I have struggled with having and maintaining friendships; sometimes I hang on too long to a friend who doesn't want to be, or I don't give enough attention to those who do. At the core of it though, I want to have good friends, and I want to be a good friend. I'm not saying that those who are my friends aren't good, by the way, no, they are awesome, and I'm thankful to all of them! I guess I'm thinking about the idea of leaving a legacy. My hope is that I'm instilling in my son the ability to see things with an eternal perspective because this life is ultimately fleeting. Not without the idea of doing what you can with what you can, but also knowing that money or fame or accolades aren't what makes your time valuable. It's like with gems and precious metals, it's the rarity that makes them valuable. It is a delicate balance between thinking that the few moments that we exist, in the context of eternity, is barely a blip, the bible calls it a mist: one sec here and the next we are gone. In the 29 years that my brother has been gone, there has been so much life, but even within that life, it's like the blink of an eye. 

Blogtober #27 Ducks Game

 We went to a Ducks game this evening. It was a fun game to watch, even if I don't know much about the game. There was a free giveaway of Ducks hats. We were all hoping for a hatrick on the ice. Because the Ducks scored 5 goals, everyone got a free Chicken Sandwhich from Chick-Fil-A! That part I do understand! It was a lot of fun to see Karla in her happy place, despite the loss in overtime. It was also great seeing an old friend and his wife there! Here's a picture of us at the game with our hats!

Blogtober #26 The Visual Cooking Lab with Karla

 Today Karla and I finished uploading the first 4 videos for her YouTube Channel, The Visual Cooking Lab With Karla, along with an intro and promo. I'm hoping that it reaches the right audience! I'm looking forward to all the other videos that will be posted over the next several weeks. Tomorrow the intro and first promo will be available to see on YouTube (
www.YouTube.com/@TheVisualCookingLabWithKarla). Please check it out and let us know what you think!!

Blogtober #25 The 5th, well 25th

 Today we visited Karla's dad in the hospital because he fell and possibly sprained his leg. He will have to get physical therapy to recover, something he's not excited about doing. At church today the sermon was about honoring your parents and I think Karla did a great job at this! At one point her dad looked like he was trying to stay awake for our benefit, but also seemed really tired. So, we pretended to fall asleep for about 3 seconds, but that was all he needed, permission to sleep. So, he did. We stayed for a while to keep him company, but about 30-45 minutes later we thought we'd say goodbye and let him rest more. He was able to awake from his rest to say goodbye, but also seemed able to go back to sleep easily enough. 

Blogtober #24 Evolving Narrative

Tell Me Your Story is evolving from just a friendship that needs realignment to realizing the person who changed or moved was most likely me. When writing the song I was imagining a restoring of a friendship because someone decided to step away, but through the evolving of this song it's turned into me having a conversation with God and wondering where He's been, when it was I who moved, not Him! As the song is evolving so are the ideas of the instrumentation, and I'm enjoying this process of change to express the song, hopefully in a deeper, more compelling way. I guess we will see when it's finished.

Blogtober #23 Joy to Come!

 So far, I have 2 songs scratched tracked out of 10. I'm really looking forward to the recording process to perfect the idea I have in part currently. I look forward to the completed song with all the parts I can't even imagine at this moment. I wonder if this is like how God Almighty looks at his creation, without the wonder of "what it be like when it's complete" because He knows the ending from the beginning. I wonder if this a small glimpse into His creative process and He allows us to enjoy in it too. We get to enjoy at the wonder and mystery of it all! There are times that it's difficult to find joy in the mundane and there are other times that it's inescapable! It's all a part of this existence and we all get to enjoy all of it from the wonder of it all to the completed parts we have yet to enjoy. I still long for the day and look forward with all His energy and strength!

Blogtober #22 More Than Just Snickers

 Today I was thinking about how the first person to pass away in my life that I knew was my great-grandfather, Johnny Mac. I didn't know him very well, but I always liked visiting him and my great-grandmother, Lydia. My great-grandmother always seemed to have a beer in her hand, whether she was drinking it or not. My great-grandfather seemed to always have a smile on his face, whether he really did or not. Now these were my mother's grandparents on her mother's side. The ones on her father's side died before I was born, though my great-grandmother on my mom's father's side is the one who made me my baby blanket, parts of which I still have. I knew my mom's parents fairly well, though my grandfather on my mom's side didn't talk to me too much, but I loved hearing his stories, whether he was talking to me or others nearby. My dad's father, I only met him twice, and both times he had Snickers in his place and offered me one. Typically, when offered a candy by an adult, I would take one and only one. However, with my grandfather on my father's side, I took a couple. It was my way of getting back at the man who hurt my father, grandmother, and all my aunts on my father's side. What I remember most is how frail he looked how quiet he spoke. In all the stories I heard of him through the years, quiet was not the word, nor was frail, and yet right in front of me was this tiny man, who I knew just about nothing about, never heard a story from his lips uttered to my ear, whether he talked to me or others. The only stories I've ever heard were from those he hurt. My dad could be a tough man, a strong father, but even when I pushed every button I could find with a few I invented, he never laid a hand on me to hurt me. He gave me plenty of hugs and words of affirmation. My grandfather gave me 2 things: my father and Snickers, a candy bar. That was the only sweetness I ever heard him give. I'm not making comments that say that is all he was, but that's all that I know, all that he was to me.  I don't know all the stories from all my grandparents. I would have loved to talk to them more. I would have loved to share with them more, but what I do have I hold close. It's really those things that live on inside of me, inside of my other family members. One day someone else might write a story or a post, that maybe no one else will read about me. I hope there is more to say about me than, "He offered me Snickers a couple of times."